Have you ever been run over by a Mack truck?
[figuratively, of course.]
Then, did the truck back up, take aim and rumble right over you again?
Yeeeowwwwwch.
And then there are some days when that sucker may have run over you a third or a fourth time…
Sound familiar?
Hypothetical situation:
After being run over by said Mack truck, what do you do? [circle one]
A) Crawl under the covers, hide and [maybe] come out in a week or so
B) Scream and moan about the unfairness of the truck picking on you
C) Kick the crap out of said truck
D) All of the above, in reverse order
E) None of the above
Three years ago, I would have picked C.
[not even joking.]
I suppose it’s that fighting spirit that’s gotten me through tough times .. But it’s a blessing and a curse .. For while it’s helped me overcome, it’s also prolonged pain.
Now, as I gaze through clearer lenses, I realize that E is the one right answer. Why?
I thought you’d never ask…
****
Life is an equal opportunity happiness granter.
Yes, you read that right. Equal opportunity happiness granter.
Fancy, technical term.
No matter who you are, where you come from .. No matter the circumstances that surround you .. No matter your age, sex, familial status .. No matter your bank account zeroes .. We all have the same opportunity to generate joy and foster happiness.
We are all gifted – yes, gifted – with the same 24 hours each and every day. And every moment is an opportunity to choose to be joyful .. To choose to be happy.
“But you don’t understand what I go through each day.”
You’re right. I don’t. I empathize with you, but I think that you – yes YOU – are bigger than your circumstances, your disease, your perceived destiny of not being able to live life to the fullest.
You are so much bigger and better than that.
Can’t you see that in yourself?
Well .. You should. You need to. In fact, your very best life depends on it.
So how do all those so-happy, sunshine-and-rainbows, aggravatingly-positive people do it?
It’s not because their life is better or easier. I promise you that. They have similar struggles, perhaps in different forms and chapters of their life, but their hurt, trials and tribulations are very real.
But there is one difference.
Their reaction to pain is vastly unique from most.
They don’t snap-judge or quickly react. They don’t crawl away to hide and lick their wounds. They don’t even fight back.
They take a deep breath, and simply make the best out of what they have, in every single moment.
And they never, ever quit.
Soon enough, finding the best in every situation becomes a habit .. It becomes a lifestyle .. It becomes who they are.
****
Have you ever noticed that there’s a strange suspicion that surrounds positivity?
Like a consummately positive person is:
A) Up to something
B) On something
C) A droid in disguise
Although I’d love to admit that I’m actually a droid [okay, no, not really], my positivity comes from practice.
You read that right. It takes practice. It takes work. It takes determination.
Just as an athlete can train his or her body to perform at a certain level, so can you train your mind to choose positive over negative. Consistently.
It’s really that simple. And consistency is key.
“But how and where do I start?”
Great question. [action item]
The next time a [hypothetical] Mack truck runs you over:
A) Take a deep inhale, and then a long exhale
B) Close your eyes
C) Ask yourself – “What is one good thing that comes from this?”
D) Hold onto that one good thing. That one true thing. Hold it close, keep it in your mind. Diffuse the negative by choosing the positive.
E) Extra credit assignment: Find two, three or four other good things that come from this challenge.
Here, I’ll go first:
As I’m writing this, I’m fighting a nasty cold. I can’t stand colds. They make me grumpy (just ask my husband).
But here are five good things that come from this cold:
1) I am blessed with the opportunity to force myself to sit still. Rest and recharge are key.
2) I am blessed with the opportunity to write to you .. As it is one of my favorite things in life.
3) I spotted one of my dogs wagging her tail – yes, wagging – while fast asleep (seriously – that just happened, and I had no idea that was even possible!). Must be a good dream, and I wouldn’t have caught that moment otherwise.
4) I am blessed with friends who bring me delicious, homemade chicken soup.
5) I am blessed with a husband who flips between football and hockey as we both go through copious amounts of tissue-slash-snot-rags. I love that man.
See? It’s not that hard.
It’s actually not hard at all.
It simply takes focus. Deliberate focus.
Focus on the good. Set the bad aside.
[action item]
Pick one item in your life – right now – that is upsetting you. Find one thing – one true thing – that’s a direct result of that challenge.
But don’t stop there .. Whenever you’re faced with a Mack truck (and Lord knows that happens all-too-often when we walk life’s journey with RA), find one true thing that is good and positive. Hold onto that. Hold it close. And never let it go.
Before long, you’ll be able to find more good things, and good things more often.
I promise this: if you work at it, you can feel the glow that your JOY generates.
But remember, it’s YOU that generates the JOY.